A few posts ago I mentioned that I am reading The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. I am not done reading it yet, but I thought I would share some insight. The book starts with a parable about a person named Ordinary. Ordinary one day has a Big Dream and decides to accomplish it, but there are many attempted blockages in his path. As simple as this parable is it is a spot on interpretation of the what happens when one tries to pursue their own dreams. You are faced with doubt, the unwillingness to leave your own comfort zone, and you find that even the people closest to you can try to stop you from your dreams, or as one friend said "people will try to punch holes in your happiness."
When I think about the things that I have wanted to do in life or maybe dreams I have had before it makes me wonder how often someone has tried to block my own dreams. It is also makes me nervous. Have I been the person to block other people's dreams? I started thinking about this journey that I have decided to take to figure out my purpose. What if it is big, hard, unusual? Will people then start to block my dreams? Maybe some people wonder why I am even trying to figure out my purpose now. I am sure people question my relationship with God and my beliefs. Some people might think that I am a bible thumper, and other people might think that I am a sad excuse for a Christian. I guess it is scary to think that when I figure out what it is that I am supposed to be doing if I will have the strength and the courage to not just be a Somebody and to leave the Land of Familiar and step out on faith?
Showing posts with label Purpose. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Purpose. Show all posts
Monday, August 13, 2012
Friday, August 10, 2012
The Purpose Driven Life
The past week in church the sermon really made an impact on me. The main message was talking about trying to figure out what your purpose is. Let me first go back before we move on.
I was/am in a precarious state. I lost my job about a year and half ago. I live with my family. I try to support and take care of my mom who has Multiple Sclerosis. I don't say all this for sympathy or for a gold medal in sympathy. I mention it because it really encompasses what I have been going through the past few years. I am not going to lie it has been rough. There are days when I just want to give up. There have been days when I don't want to get out of bed. Sometimes I wish that was invisible and that I could disappear. To put it simply, there are a lot of challenges that I am having and I am not always in the best of spirits despite my attempts.
So back to the sermon.... I realized that maybe part of my despair comes from not knowing my own purpose. When my dad died I was sure that my purpose was to help people. My dad did a lot of work in the community and I truly thought that it was my purpose to carry on his work. I majored in Government and Politics, went to law school, thought I was going to be the first female black president of the United States all for the sake of helping people on a grand scale. I thought that by being a child advocate for children in the child welfare system that I was making a small impact, but then I lost my job.
But being unemployed really makes you doubt everything you thought about yourself. I never was one of those people who tied my self-worth into a job title. However, when you don't have a title you realize how much of an importance we place on it. Suddenly I felt that I was useless, a waste of space, and unimportant. It even became linked to my love life. I felt like I was unlovable. I mean who wants to to be in love with someone who can barely even support themselves right? I felt that God didn't love me. I felt that I was disappointing him because I wasn't carrying out my purpose. I didn't feel like I was helping anyone when while I didn't have a job.
So this sermon made me realize I need to do a couple of things. First, I need to really work on my relationship with God. I have been saying this for days, months, years. I am going to go to church more, check. I am going to read the bible and pray more and go to bible study...*crickets*. So the day after church, I actually opened my bible and started reading and I wrote in my journal and reflected. The next day I started reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I find myself everyday excited to read the next chapter. Ready to get my life in order. Today I checked out The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. I truly feel as if I am on the road to figuring out the point of it all.
**I go to Bridgeway Community Church. To see the message that I am referring to go here: http://www.bcctv.org/player Select 8/5/12***
I was/am in a precarious state. I lost my job about a year and half ago. I live with my family. I try to support and take care of my mom who has Multiple Sclerosis. I don't say all this for sympathy or for a gold medal in sympathy. I mention it because it really encompasses what I have been going through the past few years. I am not going to lie it has been rough. There are days when I just want to give up. There have been days when I don't want to get out of bed. Sometimes I wish that was invisible and that I could disappear. To put it simply, there are a lot of challenges that I am having and I am not always in the best of spirits despite my attempts.
So back to the sermon.... I realized that maybe part of my despair comes from not knowing my own purpose. When my dad died I was sure that my purpose was to help people. My dad did a lot of work in the community and I truly thought that it was my purpose to carry on his work. I majored in Government and Politics, went to law school, thought I was going to be the first female black president of the United States all for the sake of helping people on a grand scale. I thought that by being a child advocate for children in the child welfare system that I was making a small impact, but then I lost my job.
But being unemployed really makes you doubt everything you thought about yourself. I never was one of those people who tied my self-worth into a job title. However, when you don't have a title you realize how much of an importance we place on it. Suddenly I felt that I was useless, a waste of space, and unimportant. It even became linked to my love life. I felt like I was unlovable. I mean who wants to to be in love with someone who can barely even support themselves right? I felt that God didn't love me. I felt that I was disappointing him because I wasn't carrying out my purpose. I didn't feel like I was helping anyone when while I didn't have a job.
So this sermon made me realize I need to do a couple of things. First, I need to really work on my relationship with God. I have been saying this for days, months, years. I am going to go to church more, check. I am going to read the bible and pray more and go to bible study...*crickets*. So the day after church, I actually opened my bible and started reading and I wrote in my journal and reflected. The next day I started reading the Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. I find myself everyday excited to read the next chapter. Ready to get my life in order. Today I checked out The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson. I truly feel as if I am on the road to figuring out the point of it all.
**I go to Bridgeway Community Church. To see the message that I am referring to go here: http://www.bcctv.org/player Select 8/5/12***
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