Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Becoming a Better Me

Suddenly when I stopped stressing over a guy who never called me back, I had a lot of free time.  No I will be honest, some of that free time was still spent stressing over that guy that never called.  But with the remaining time I had after the stress, which still was a lot, I decided to focus on me.  Sure my job search may be lacking, I feel stuck in my family's house forever, and might never find a husband and turn into the neighborhood cat lady, but there is one thing over which I did have control, me!  Thus in the beginning of September I decided to get serious about my weight loss and fitness goals.

I know my weight loss journey is something I have written about several times over the years.  I have tried various diets and even tracking through  My Fitness Pal but I was never truly consistent.  Back in May I started Weight Watchers.  Despite paying my monthly fees three months passed by with very little loss.  As one member from my meeting would say, I was donating money to Weight Watchers.  But something stuck with me.  I guess I felt like the fall was a fresh start.  Ever since that I haven't looked back.

So what is different?  I have been going to the gym consistently.  My goal is to go everyday and at least do something.  Life happens, and LA Fitness has the worst weekend hours ever in life, so I don't always make it everyday, however I am coming quite close.  I have also started morning workouts.  Working out in the morning has basically changed my life.  Sure I set my alarm for a ridiculously early time and hit the snooze button four or five times.  But when I finally get there and get on the machine I feel great.  I think to myself it is 7:30 am and I have already accomplished something.  Not to mention the abundance of energy that I know have throughout the day.  Unfortunately, I have nowhere to place this new found energy, but I am working on it.  And what helps is that one of my BFFs is right there with me every morning.  We made a pact to not tell the other person when we aren't going to make it.  That way we always push ourselves to go because we assume that the other person will be there.

I am making smarter decisions with my eating.  I have been bringing in my breakfast and lunch more.  This helps me also save money which is a double bonus. Also I have even done some cooking over the past few weeks which I don't usually have the opportunity to do often.  I know that Weight Watchers is a lifestyle change and not a diet.  I no longer beat myself up if I have a "bad" meal or a "bad" day.  I refuse to be discourage when the scale is not a big loss, because I know as it is often said that this journey is a marathon and not a sprint.

But there is a bigger difference.  After much planning, scheming, and nudging I convinced my best friends to get back on board and re-join Weight Watchers.  It is while the three of us were on it together that we were the most successful.  We have all tried on our own for years and it just hasn't worked.  And now there is nothing more exciting to me than being able to share our successes and bad days together knowing that we are all on this quest together.

Each day I feel smaller and I feel stronger.  At 6:30 am I am on a machine dripping with sweat I am imagining myself on the beach next summer.  Each time I am craving fried chicken or a piece of pizza I think about the old me, that me from 7 years ago, and I think to myself that I refuse to go back there again.  When I see my mom and everything she is going through I know that I have to become a better me so that I will continue to be able to take care of her as she grows weaker.  So that is it.  I am becoming a better me and I couldn't be happier!

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