Monday, May 27, 2013

Sex Symbol?

I have an issue and I am wondering if anyone else has this problem.  Somehow, almost overnight I have turned into a sex symbol.  Ok, ok, don't choke.  I am being serious though.  Let me explain.

So as you recall I am single.  My friends and I go out once and awhile to bar or lounge type of establishments.  Me being the most going of the group I am always certain to strike up a conversation with at least one stranger during the course of the night.  But recently I have noticed a disturbing trend, it seems like many of the men I talk to are interested in having sex with me and feel free to tell me this.

This trend asking me some questions.  One, am I oozing in sex appeal?  I mean I think I am fly, but I don't think anything really shouts out sex about me.  I tend to be a pretty conservative dresser especially as I am getting older.  While I have the ability to talk dirty, I tend to not do that with complete strangers!  Two, are guys getting bolder?  Maybe guys thinks it is ok for them to proposition me.  I mean if this has happened to me on multiple occasions maybe it usually works for them.  And as much as it is unnerving I do appreciate someone telling me upfront where their intentions are rather than have a few dates and waste our time.  I also guess that maybe it is a compliment to me that they find me attractive?  But it is also an anti-compliment when a guy does not offer me any respect when they see me as just some woman to have sex with and not a person that they could get to know on a non-physical level.

So does this happen to anyone else?  Or is it just me?  I am starting to lose hope.  Are there single guys out there who might like to date me and treat me with respect in the process?  Let me know!

Remember to follow me on Twitter @thisisDiMo

Happy Memorial Day

Today is Memorial Day.  For those of my readers outside of the United States (and many Americans who don't actually know what the day is for), Memorial Day is a day to honor soldiers who have died while serving our country or who have sustained injuries while serving our country which led to their death.  Memorial Day was created from Decoration Day, a day which was used to honor those soldiers who died in during the Civil War.

In all honesty, I didn't know the true reason for Memorial Day until a few days ago.  I didn't know about Decoration Day until today.  Before I thought Memorial Day was to think about all people who had died, to mark the beginning of summer, and to cook out on our day off.  I was so wrong.

It is such a bittersweet idea to think about the many soldiers who have given their lives to protect me and generations before me.  It is bitter because I remember the man who soldiers who are blessed enough to serve and come back to a country that has turned their back on them.  Whether it was the black soldiers who fought in the World Wars to the soldiers who come back with PTSD and other illnesses or addictions and are left homeless with no where to go.

So today while you are digesting your hamburgers and hot dogs or you are brushing sand off of your feet take time out to think how someone else sacrificed for you.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

James

While mom and I were on the way to dinner yesterday there was a homeless man in the median.  I didn't really look at his sign or hear his pitch, but I could tell he needed some help.  Usually I am anti-giving money to people who stand in the median.  I am not anti-giving money in general, I just think that the median is kind of a dangerous place to be standing and I don't want to encourage the behavior.  However, I thought fast and remembered that I had an apple in my purse from earlier.  I asked the gentleman if he wanted it and he said he would.  I gave it to him and he smiled and thanked me.  He told me his name was James and to pray for him.

Now the thought of James keeps popping up in my head.  I have prayed for him several times since I met him briefly.  I especially prayed for him today, as today's church service was all about the power of prayer and healing.  But still I keep wondering how James is doing and if anyone else gave him anything and if there is anything more that I could have done.

As my faith has grown and I have progressed in my own spiritual journey I find myself wanting to give more and more.  Many people who are not Christians or who are not strong in their understanding of of Christianity believe that you do all these good deeds and that will get you into heaven.  This is not true.  In my view, you do good deeds and things for others because of your love of God, and what he has done for you.  I do good things because I care about others.  I do the right things because people have helped me when I needed it, and sometimes they were strangers.

In turn, I feel a dilemma at times in that I feel like simply giving an apple or a granola bar or some money is not nearly enough.  I try to give when I can, but I can't always.  Sometimes I wonder if the person that I just walked past or I maybe pretended like I didn't hear really could have used my help.  Maybe it didn't need to be money, maybe it could have been a word of encouragement, a prayer, or maybe just the fact to be acknowledged as a human being would have been sufficient.  And always in the back of my mind I think maybe this is Jesus who I just walked by, I mean really you never know.

So next time you are out and you walk past or drive by your own James maybe you will think twice.

Random Conversations

Usually when you look back at your life and the series of events that shape its course you may find several pivotal moments.  Or maybe even simpler, random conversations, thoughts, or whatever that could have caused you to go one way or the other in your life.  I would say a lot of times people won't realize this until later on, maybe months, or years later.  I think that I may have had one of those defining moments over the weekend.

It all started off much like any other Friday.  I was getting off work and meeting one of my friends for happy hour.  We didn't have a decided plan of action for the night, we were just going to see where the night took us.  For this night, we ended up going to our version of Cheers.  You know the place where most people know your name and it is like your second home.  Anyway, we found a seat and began talking.  The open seat was next to a guy who refused to move and who was obviously into my friend.  After awhile I saw another seat open up in the same area so I proceeded to talk to the guy on the other side of my friend to see if I could sit down.

I can talk to anyone.  My friends know this all too well.  So I had no problem talking to this random guy at the bar to pass the time.  He was a nice looking guy, perhaps not really my taste exactly, plus I kept wondering if he was gay so I was not really interested.  I thought nothing more would come of the conversation than a seat.  However, we began talking for a long time.  Little did I know that this random person could have been a gift to me to help me change my thinking.  Perhaps he was my chance to focus on another aspect of my life that I had admittedly put on the back burner.

I had a deep conversation with this random gentlemen.  So deep that he was able to tell me more about myself than I actually realized that I knew.  The gist was that I have everything going for me and then some, but I am kind of lazy socially.  And no he doesn't mean my ability to socialize, it is more in the dating/romantic aspect.  Basically, I do not put any effort to attracting people to me and getting to know me, I just expect that others should want to on their own accords because I am awesome.

I guess more in my subconsciousness than I realized I have given up trying to really try and meet someone.  I guess I still feel wounded in the process.  I hide some of my sexiness and some of my greatness so I am never approached and never bothered.  But on the converse, I am also rejecting those who might be the ones who have the potential.   How can I be so extroverted and introverted at the same time?  How can I so easily talk to strangers but still close myself from people really getting to know the real me?

So after having this long, deep conversation (that almost made me cry at the bar), I decided to practice what he was preaching.  I improved my posture, I smiled, and I was more inviting.  BAM, I then felt like the Homecoming Queen at prom.  It felt like all of a sudden I was attracting all these men that I would have never known were there because I stopped paying attention and I stopped caring.  Now, they might not be guys that I am particularly interested in and I might not ever talk to them, but that is not the point.  The point is that the wisdom that came from the random guy at the bar was true.  I have everything going for me and then some.  It is time to stop hiding it from others.