Sunday, October 25, 2015

Dating Hiatus

My goal for Saturday was simple, spend time with mom and then to promptly ditch mom to hang out with people my own age.  Nothing against my mom.  You know I love her!  But after a few weeks of making sure everyone else was ok, after hosting people, after comforting grievers (including myself), I was ready to have a good drink, and preferably a drink with the male persuasion.  Seems easy enough right?

The day began with a question.  Would "Bow Tie", a Tinder suitor who had survived yet another instance of delete, renege on his offer to take me to the Maryland v. Penn State Football game?  After not hearing another mention of this alleged date for nearly a week, I figured that the chances were slim.  I also decided that I needed to bite the bullet and contact him because after all spending time with my mom was still on my agenda.  He finally replied to my message only to say that it was going to be "hard to link up" and that he had "friends in from college" and a "four hour exam to take tomorrow" (he's in grad school).  All of this is well an dandy, but surely none of this became a revelation the night before or the morning of said game.  And you know what I let him know that too.  I am tired of guys cancelling plans on me.  I am more tired of guys cancelling plans but waiting for me to inquire myself.  What's wrong with you dudes?

So my planned date of the week was a bust.  That meant I needed to reach out to some other guys before time ran out.  One of those guys was Troy.  I didn't disguise his name as I usually do only because he is an asshole.  You see Troy is another Tinder leftover.

There were two times in which we were supposed to meet up and something fell through on his part.  Luckily for each time plans fell through Troy decided to text me a week later as if nothing happened.  When I called him out the last time he said he would make it up, but I had never seen any type of "making it up" occur.  No, instead what I witnessed is one weak ass text message a week that said good morning beautiful.

So when I texted Troy yesterday I was not expecting much.   He told me that he was working this weekend (which in my mind ruled him out as company already).  I went on to tell him that I was tired of dealing with the wackness on men, aka Bow Tie.  Troy then proceeded to tell me that he gave up because I was always busy.  So I asked him how he would know if I was busy if he only texted me one day a week.  The conversation escalated to me telling him if he though that he really made an effort than he really wasn't the one for me and I wished him good luck and fun at work.  He then proceeded to tell me I was mentally unstable and to not contact him again.  WHAT THE F?!?!? Ladies and gents, let me tell you something.  Yes, I do have a tendency to be dramatic, over the top, and borderline crazy, but this was NOT one of those times.  At least let me earn your insult!  I am crazy because I call you out on your weak ass approach?  Strike two for Di Mo.

In my third attempt I reached out to "D".  I can't think of a worthy nickname so this will have to do.  D, another potential Tinder suitor did not have a good initial impression.  His phone conversations included a long rant about his ex-wife and not trusting people and him telling me that his only goal left in life at the tender age of 40 was to travel.  He also said, "you don't seem link a lawyer, you seem like a genuine person."  Despite all this, I still gave D a chance.  We went on a date that was nice and I enjoyed his company.  And through everything going on with my aunt he checked up on me which I really appreciated.  I decided to show my appreciation by inviting him to my friend's work event.  While he accepted on Monday by the day of the event he was "too tired", to which I told him that he needed to make up to me.  He did get some shade from me when on the same night he cancelled he bragged about all of the food that he had cooked that night.  Guess you weren't that tired huh?

So I reached out to D and suggested to him that last night would be the perfect opportunity to cash in on that make up date.  He agreed.  My only criteria is that I wanted a good drink and I didn't want to think.  The time was set for 7:00pm.  By 5 pm I had heard of no details for said date.  I asked him if he had figured anything out.  He replied by asking how far did I want to drive to meet him.  Side bar, if you are making up for cancelling on someone, wouldn't be appropriate if you met in a convenient spot for that person.  Also, what happened to picking women up from their door?  Anyway, at 6:15 despite my headache, we had decided on a place that I thought seemed like a fair distance for both to drive.  I texted him that I was leaving the house.  He told me that I was going to get their before him which was confusing for me but I proceeded onward.  By the time I got to the restaurant he asked me if I wanted to postpone since he was still 30 minutes away and stuck in traffic.  I laughed, because I was already there and this seemed like the worst day in dating ever, and told him that he could postpone and I would find something else to do.  I then began to drive 30 minutes back near my house to get a drink at a local spot.  He then called me said he was at the place and looking for me.  I texted him to let me know I left.  He seemed kind of pissed.  Should I feel bad?  Maybe, but I don't.  I said we could postpone.  I guess that means we both wasted a trip huh?

So that was yesterday.  Yesterday is when I decided that a dating hiatus was in order.  If this is what the dating pool has become then I bow out gracefully.  I told some of my girlfriends my trials and tribulations from yesterday and they all had the similar response "men suck".  And don't get me wrong, I am not some male-bashing, men-hating, bitter black woman.  I love men.  I miss men.  I would love nothing better than to spend a nice evening the company of a good man.  I am just wondering where they are?  And if you are one and I have overlooked you just let me know, equal opportunity and all ;).  But until then I am ok in the chill zone.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

The Fragile Life

I know that you all have been eagerly awaiting my next blog entry.  I am sure that you have noticed that my entries have become further and further apart.  Believe me it is not because I did not have anything to say, it's probably more because I had too much to say.  I had too much going on, too many thoughts in my head, so much contemplation on my heart, that I was overwhelmed.  I was dealing with life.

We always think that we are invincible.  It starts off when we are children.  We jump, run, bike all to the utmost levels of danger because we believe that we are superhuman.  We convince ourselves that we will never die and that we will never experience pain.  But as our flesh gets older and our minds grow wiser we know that eventually we will all experience our final day.

My aunt passed away a couple of days ago.  This is my aunt that I have lived with for the past few years.  The aunt that acted like a superhero taking care of sick family members, including her sister who is my mother.  My aunt and I could butt heads and then laugh and joke the next minute.  She would call to check up on folks regularly.  She always made sure that the house was fully stocked with ginger even though she and I were the only people who enjoyed it.  The aunt that cared so much for others that she often times neglected herself.

My aunt was surrounded by love in her final hours.  You would think that we were on Jay-Z and Beyonce status with the way that we took over the floor!  So many family members and friends were touched by a woman who believed that angels were looking down and guarding over her.  To many, she herself was an angel.

We always think that we will have one more day, one more day to say I love you, one more day to say I am sorry, one more day, to promise to stay strong for everyone.  We live such a fragile life, never knowing when our last day will be.  After my father died I made a vow to never put off saying how I feel.  I always try to let the people who I care about know how special they were/are to me.  And although I could have told my aunt more how much I loved her and appreciated her I would like to think that she knew.  I would like to believe that she passed knowing that I will take care of her sister and that she does not have to worry.  My mustard seed of faith allows me to know that my aunt is living beyond her earthly flesh among the stars.

So listen.  Don't take this life for granted.  Don't hesitate to tell your loved ones that they are loved.  As clique as it may sound you just never know when you will have that opportunity again.