Random Conversations

Usually when you look back at your life and the series of events that shape its course you may find several pivotal moments.  Or maybe even simpler, random conversations, thoughts, or whatever that could have caused you to go one way or the other in your life.  I would say a lot of times people won't realize this until later on, maybe months, or years later.  I think that I may have had one of those defining moments over the weekend.

It all started off much like any other Friday.  I was getting off work and meeting one of my friends for happy hour.  We didn't have a decided plan of action for the night, we were just going to see where the night took us.  For this night, we ended up going to our version of Cheers.  You know the place where most people know your name and it is like your second home.  Anyway, we found a seat and began talking.  The open seat was next to a guy who refused to move and who was obviously into my friend.  After awhile I saw another seat open up in the same area so I proceeded to talk to the guy on the other side of my friend to see if I could sit down.

I can talk to anyone.  My friends know this all too well.  So I had no problem talking to this random guy at the bar to pass the time.  He was a nice looking guy, perhaps not really my taste exactly, plus I kept wondering if he was gay so I was not really interested.  I thought nothing more would come of the conversation than a seat.  However, we began talking for a long time.  Little did I know that this random person could have been a gift to me to help me change my thinking.  Perhaps he was my chance to focus on another aspect of my life that I had admittedly put on the back burner.

I had a deep conversation with this random gentlemen.  So deep that he was able to tell me more about myself than I actually realized that I knew.  The gist was that I have everything going for me and then some, but I am kind of lazy socially.  And no he doesn't mean my ability to socialize, it is more in the dating/romantic aspect.  Basically, I do not put any effort to attracting people to me and getting to know me, I just expect that others should want to on their own accords because I am awesome.

I guess more in my subconsciousness than I realized I have given up trying to really try and meet someone.  I guess I still feel wounded in the process.  I hide some of my sexiness and some of my greatness so I am never approached and never bothered.  But on the converse, I am also rejecting those who might be the ones who have the potential.   How can I be so extroverted and introverted at the same time?  How can I so easily talk to strangers but still close myself from people really getting to know the real me?

So after having this long, deep conversation (that almost made me cry at the bar), I decided to practice what he was preaching.  I improved my posture, I smiled, and I was more inviting.  BAM, I then felt like the Homecoming Queen at prom.  It felt like all of a sudden I was attracting all these men that I would have never known were there because I stopped paying attention and I stopped caring.  Now, they might not be guys that I am particularly interested in and I might not ever talk to them, but that is not the point.  The point is that the wisdom that came from the random guy at the bar was true.  I have everything going for me and then some.  It is time to stop hiding it from others.