I am single. I am black. I am female. I have no kids. I am educated. I am attractive. I am caring. I am loving. You would think all of those I am statements that I would be able to add that I am in a relationship, but alas I am not. I am trying to stay open-minded in this cruel dating world but I am way past the moment of putting my hands up and more at the point where I am just accepting my future life of being the weird cat lady who never leaves the house.
When did dating get so hard? I remember a time when I had two or three dates a week. Now if I have one date a month that would be an accomplishment. I truly am confused as to whether my pool is smaller or if my standards are greater. Either way, I am in a state of disgust quite often.
I think I am just smarter. I can put things together faster. I am not as naive and innocent as I was 10 years ago, and quite frankly I shouldn't be. I am now confident in myself. I know my worth, my value and my overall awesomeness. I am aware of my flaws. And I know that anyone who has the opportunity to be my beau will be showered with the gifts that I possess because to be around me is truly a blessing. The problem is not me. It can't be. So the problem is them?
Old, young it is all the same, just meh. I am one of those women who doesn't mind dating a guy who is 10 years older than me. I like a little gray hair. I like bald men. It's all good to me. But what is not good to me is meeting these men who are quite older than me yet act quite younger then me. I mean perhaps it is partially me. I am no longer this doe-eyed girl. Now I cut straight to the point no chasers. I want a guy of substance. This means a man who is passionate about something and knows what he wants and goes for it. I want a man to court me. You know take me out. Try to get to know me better. I am tired of a "wyd" text everyday. I am at work the same time everyday what do YOU think I am doing? I feel like men in this area have so many options that they don't want to commit to just one woman and they don't, because they don't have to. Or maybe they are just lazy. Or maybe they just date to have sex. Whatever their reasoning I am not about that life. If you want to date me you better act like it!
Despite how it sounds, I really am attempting open-mindedness! I have tried online dating on and off. But everyone is just kind of blah. I try to go to happy hours and such and most of the time I end up talking to old married men. I mean they are nice and all but that is definitely defeating the purpose.
Sometimes I wonder why I am so pressed. I have a billion things on my plate. I don't want to have kids. I see the relationships of some of my other friends and it makes me want to clutch my pearls in shock and dismay. So what's the rush? The rush is because I don't want to be alone. Sometimes when you are a person who cares so much for others that you just want someone to care for you. Is that to much to ask?
I am going to try to flip the script. Turn my grimace into a smile. I am going to kill them with my feisty whit and charm. I am going to be positive. And I am going to do all of this while remembering how amazing I truly am and not lowering who I am nor my standards. And if no one else gets it? Well then they are morons :)