Pass me a drink. This last month I felt like having a drink just about every night. Don't worry I am not becoming an alcoholic. And no I am trying to drown my sorrows with a nice glass of Malbec or two. For me a drink after work or on the weekends is a chance to socialize, and that's what I miss.
How can you blame me? The weather is starting to get nice. I have finally ditched my pea coat that is at least two sizes too big. I am buying new spring clothes and showing off my new figure in the process. I am single and ready to mingle. I am waiting for the opportunity to flirt with a gentleman caller of reasonable character if not just for a laugh.
I miss the chance of opportunity. That opportunity that the next guy I meet might be the one who will give me butterflies again. I like to be out so that I can forget about my friends who are getting engaged/married/having kids. So I will not think about being single, again. But at the same time my singledom gives me the freedom to be the real me: sassy, flirty, silly, fun, loud, sexy, funny, intelligent and coy all at the same time without feeling one single ounce of guilt. For when I go straight home after work no one can see this gift in their presence. At home I go to sleep, wake up early, and live for the weekend. But I want to live for life. I want to live for everyday.
I remember those days when I could call up any random friend at the spur of the moment to grab a drink and catch up. Now it seems that everyone has to schedule an outing days, weeks, and sometimes months in advance. I miss the days of spontaneity and not needing to drink coffee at 4 pm to stay awake until 10 pm.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes I go out by myself. But lately when I do I walk around for an hour because I can't decide which crowd I like better. And by that time I am just starving and tired and the crowd doesn't matter and I didn't get to flirty with anyone because I was just looking for a seat any seat. Yeah sad life.
So today is Thursday. But I am just going to go home and maybe buy that bottle of wine I keep talking about which I will sip while watching Scandal. At least that is something I can count on.