Dating sucks ya'll. The older I get the more I wonder if I should get comfortable with the idea that I will never get married. I try to sometimes, but deep down I have hope, no matter how small.
So for right now I have decided to give dating a break. The truth is I just am not meeting men who match what I am looking for. And before you start to judge, I know my own flaws. I am not saying that I am perfect, but I know that I have a lot to bring to any potential relationship. I just haven't met someone who enough qualities to bring to the table.
This weekend I took a little road trip. Since I was driving it gave me a lot of time to think, a lot. And one of the thoughts that I had is that I have now lived longer than I have known my dad. Between my own memories and the memories others I know he was a great father and a great man. Not only was he the kind of person that I strive to be, but he is the kind of man who I am looking for in a partner. He was not easily angered and remained pretty even keeled. He was intelligent and had a dry sense of humor. My dad worked hard and was dedicated to helping the community. He was supportive and an encourager. I keep wondering will there be a man who will measure up to him?
The problem is that we want all of these qualities in a man but we settle if a guy has two or three or one, or has a nice body? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in someone being interested in us that we ignore the fact that we are not really interested in them. And we do this because we are scared. Scared there might not be another opportunity out there if we turn down this guy. Unfortunately, if this was not the right match this wasn't really an opportunity either was it?
So it hit me. I am taking this break. I am going to just let things be. 2016 has been my year. Maybe instead of finding a boyfriend to make this year complete I can find myself instead.