What am I doin'? What am I doin'?
Oh, yeah, that’s right, I’m doin’ me
I’m doin me
I’m livin’ life right now, mayne
And this what I’ma do ’til it’s over
‘Til it’s over
But it’s far from over
-- "Over (I'm Doing Me)" by Drake*
I never realized how appropriate Drake's lyrics were in Over, until I started to examine them for this post. Sure for years and years countless rappers have utilized their lyricism to profess that they were only out for themselves and that "you should do you, because I'm gonna do me." But how many times have they stopped to contemplate what "doing me" is for them? How many times have you thought about what "doing me" means for you?
The past few weeks of 2012 I realized I needed to make some changes. While 2011 was about the struggle, and 2012 was about to adjusting and surviving, 2013 has to be bigger and better for me. At the end of last year (a few short weeks) I really did some reflecting. I realized that I could no long talk without beginning to set my thoughts and goals into action.
One of my biggest goals is for my weight loss and to have a committed fitness plan. I have written about my weight issues before. It is a sensitive topic, not only for me, my family, but many other people who struggle to lose weight. It can be embarrassing to have gone from losing 70 lbs to gaining almost half of it back. This year I have seen the scale slowly climax into the never never land region and I feel mad at myself. However, despite it all I never feel defeated. I actually feel comfort in the fact that I know what to do because I have done it before. All I need to do is do it again. Easy right? Ha.
This weight gain was not an overnight scenario. During the day I was snacking without abandon. At night I was eating succulent foods and drinking drinking clever drinks (and not working it off by dancing). Between all that the gym seemed less and less appealing, especially when I was sucking wind the whole time in an effort to just breathe.
A lot of my struggles came from my hectic work schedules. Most recently I was striving to work 12 hour days with an hour plus commute in addition to working a part-time job on the weekends. I was exhausted. I wasn't eating correctly. I kept getting sick. And most importantly I was missing out on family time, social time, and even personal time. I made a tough decision. One that maybe last year at this time I wouldn't do. I decided I need to focus more on me and my health and well being and less about the money. It has made all the difference.
Here is the doing me I see: I have built in gym time into my schedule. Even though my goal is to go to the gym at least 3 times a week I find myself wanting to go more. Although it hurts (I am way more out of shape than I thought) I feel good afterwards. I have started going to the grocery store and cooking meals. I got over my fear of upsetting my aunt for not wanting to eat her food. I cook when I get home eat a healthy meal that I want and I am able to bring a nice meal for lunch. I am saving money and I can better monitor my calories. And slowly but surely I am seeing a difference on the scale and even in my body. I feel more confident when I am out. And hopefully I am inspiring some other people along the way.
So "doing me" doesn't have to have a negative connotation. I'm doing me to become a better person inside and out. And for that I don't feel guilty at all! So when are you going to get over your fears and do you?
*courtesey of http://www.elyrics.net/read/d/drake-lyrics/over-(im-doing-me)-lyrics.html