Last night was scary. One of my friends from high school posted on Facebook about committing suicide. This girl, who I remember always laughing and sharing jokes with while in school was contemplating her own death. It felt like I was watching someone die right in front of my face and there was nothing that I could do about it. Fortunately, her sisters sent police to look for her. There was an outpouring of love and support from her friends and family. Today, my friend responded to her post saying that she was ok. Apparently her struggle has been going on for awhile but she is motivated to heal and to love herself.
Seeing her post, made me think that more than we would like to admit many of us have shared a variation of her thoughts. Thinking about suicide is lonely. It is like being in an isolated prison cell. You keep thoughts thoughts so tight inside because you feel like you are going through things by yourself. Suicide is the lonely way out. It's sad, dark, uncomfortable and twisted. My friend thought that her own suicide would be a "painless" option. The truth is that suicide is not a painless. Suicide leaves everyone around you in pain.
There are times when I have had my own dark thoughts. I haven't necessarily thought about suicide but I have thought that maybe if I wasn't around that everyone might benefit. In the end though, I never gave up and I never give up. Mainly because I know I have a responsibility to my mom and I have a responsibility to God to continue to serve him until my purpose is complete. God never gives us more than we can handle. At times I thought that my situation is bleak, but I am always humbled by the instances when people have much less than I and who are still smiling.
Suicidal thoughts should be taken seriously. If someone tells you that they are thinking about committing suicide they need help, professional help. It is not a time for public shaming and judgment. It is a time for love and support. If you see someone struggling don't turn a blind eye.