So on part of my quest for love and my love of discussions, I enjoy reading books and articles and sharing them with you. For the past few weeks based on the recommendation of a friend I have been reading the book It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be) A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love by Paul Carrick Brunson. Mr. Brunson is an African-American matchmaker who was recently had a show on the OWN network called Lovetown, USA.
I enjoyed this book. Although there was some of the same practical advice that you would find in other books written by matchmakers I thought that this book was much more down to earth and...real. A good deal of the book focused on self love. Which I think maybe the most important point that people miss out on when trying to find love. A lot of time people look for their mate to complete them. The truth is, you have to be complete on your own. All a mate does is compliment what is already there. Brunson also spent some time to suggest that some people may need to seek counseling before they begin dating. Looking back at some of the men that I have dated, I know that have some issues that stem from way before we met, but refuse to acknowledge them.
The other thing I enjoyed about this book is that he told the reading to "know your relationship vitals." These are basically your hard line rules for things that you want out of the relationship. He even said that marriage and monogamy may not be for you but you have to know this about yourself upfront. I think I have realized more as I am getting older the things that I do and do not want. Now I just need to be stronger when I see those red flags coming up.
Without giving too much of the book away I would say that it is worth reading. So if you have some time over the holidays pick it up.