Thursday, December 27, 2012

Online Dating At Its Worst

I have been online dating for the past few months. Yes I admit it openly.  It is 2012 almost 2013 yet I still feel this stigma from online dating.  Which is pretty funny because a lot of people have or have had an okcupid profile at some point.  In fact I have seen more than one person that I went to undergrad on there.  One person even called me out, oh the embarrassment!

Anyway, this is not my first dive into the online dating pool.  I actually tried it out a few years ago.  At the time I was going out on no dates, I mean none, zero, zip, well you get it.  I decided to stick my toe into the waters of the interweb.  I ended up trying just about everything paid and unpaid.  I had a great time.  A lot of the men came with stories, which also came with nicknames (I miss giving nicknames).  One person even turned into a boyfriend.

Since most of my experiences had been good, or good enough I should say, I thought that beginning online dating again this year would be fun and a good way to get over my ex.  It hasn't been all!  First, I don't know if dating in general has changed over the past few years or if I have higher standards.  Perhaps it is a little bit if both.  However, most a lot of it I have been experiencing has been TERRIBLE.  So terrible in fact that I delete my account every few months and decide to swear it off.  That is I swear it off until my friends go on all of these fun dates while I am sitting at home alone with my mom...

This afternoon after receiving a dumb message from someone I decided that for the rest of this post that I would share stupid messages from online guys.  Consider this your Christmas present  :)

Guy 1: Hi gorgeous
Me:  Hello
Guy 1:  I'm Jean ,will like to know more about you
Me: Ok like what?
Guy 1:  What's your interest ,you do for fun ,book ,movie ,food ,more
            a diner date ,exchange info ..if
Me:  Umm I wrote that all in my profile.  Did you even read it?
Guy 1:  Yes

Guy 2:  are you really that cute
Me:  Is this a trick question? lol
Guy 2:  I guess you answered the question very well...
Me:  What lol.  This is me.
(Silence for almost a month)
Guy 2:  Merry Christmas to you your friends and family

Guy 3:  Hi, Merry Christmas. how are you? My name is Baba and lives in London,UK . You look so cute. Lets consider this as two mature people and be straight forward. I will like to know you some more.I watched your images and profile and i respect your intelligence. I am single and want believe that u stand the reason why i am here. I enjoy going to parks, Cinema,s and come to conclusion wan,t to enjoy life to the fullest and can,t do that being single.

First message:  
Guy 4:  So when can I call you

This was after a few messages back and forth...

Me:  That sounds like fun. I want to do that for my mom soon. We shall see. My work schedule. Well I work two jobs. I am a lawyer during the week and I work retail on the weekends. Sounds like fun right?

Guy 5:  Hold on your a lawyer and you work retail sounds interesting..... Well big question for you I need your professional opinion on this could you text me <number>

Me:  Is it a legal question because I am not giving free legal advice lol

Guy 5:  Uh no pro bono Lol what happened to helping the community.It's nothing serious just a civil matter. Would have like to known if I could have filed suit or not. Do you practice in Maryland. How about this I will let you represent me if I have a case is that fair. See we can already have some common ground. Side note what do you do for fun

Me:  First of all...why is your name law student? Are you not a lawyer? Secondly, you don't even know what type of law that I practice. For the record I do child welfare law, it is very niche. And not everyone attorney is a litigator, in fact most aren't.

Guy 5:  I mean technically you can practice anything you want as long as your licensed know whether or not you specialize in that area is a different story ;). I dropped out to pursue a business venture back in 2010. Let's get coffee so we can have a healthy debate ;)


  1. I soo miss the nicknames and I def got a great laugh!

  2. I wish I had more to post I think that I deleted a lot of the crazy ones.


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