Anyway, this is not my first dive into the online dating pool. I actually tried it out a few years ago. At the time I was going out on no dates, I mean none, zero, zip, well you get it. I decided to stick my toe into the waters of the interweb. I ended up trying just about everything paid and unpaid. I had a great time. A lot of the men came with stories, which also came with nicknames (I miss giving nicknames). One person even turned into a boyfriend.
Since most of my experiences had been good, or good enough I should say, I thought that beginning online dating again this year would be fun and a good way to get over my ex. It hasn't been fun....at all! First, I don't know if dating in general has changed over the past few years or if I have higher standards. Perhaps it is a little bit if both. However, most a lot of it I have been experiencing has been TERRIBLE. So terrible in fact that I delete my account every few months and decide to swear it off. That is I swear it off until my friends go on all of these fun dates while I am sitting at home alone with my mom...
This afternoon after receiving a dumb message from someone I decided that for the rest of this post that I would share stupid messages from online guys. Consider this your Christmas present :)
Guy 1: Hi gorgeous
Guy 1: I'm Jean ,will like to know more about you
Me: Ok like what?
Guy 1: What's your interest ,you do for fun ,book ,movie ,food ,more
a diner date ,exchange info ..if
Me: Umm I wrote that all in my profile. Did you even read it?
Guy 1: Yes
Guy 2: are you really that cute
Me: Is this a trick question? lol
Guy 2: I guess you answered the question very well...
Me: What lol. This is me.
(Silence for almost a month)
Guy 2: Merry Christmas to you your friends and family
Guy 3: Hi, Merry Christmas. how are you? My name is Baba and lives in London,UK . You look so cute. Lets consider this as two mature people and be straight forward. I will like to know you some more.I watched your images and profile and i respect your intelligence. I am single and want believe that u stand the reason why i am here. I enjoy going to parks, Cinema,s and come to conclusion wan,t to enjoy life to the fullest and can,t do that being single.
Guy 4: So when can I call you
This was after a few messages back and forth...
Me: That sounds like fun. I want to do that for my mom soon. We shall see. My work schedule. Well I work two jobs. I am a lawyer during the week and I work retail on the weekends. Sounds like fun right?
Guy 5: Hold on your a lawyer and you work retail sounds interesting..... Well big question for you I need your professional opinion on this could you text me <number>
Me: Is it a legal question because I am not giving free legal advice lol
Guy 5: Uh no pro bono Lol what happened to helping the community.It's nothing serious just a civil matter. Would have like to known if I could have filed suit or not. Do you practice in Maryland. How about this I will let you represent me if I have a case is that fair. See we can already have some common ground. Side note what do you do for fun
Me: First of all...why is your name law student? Are you not a lawyer? Secondly, you don't even know what type of law that I practice. For the record I do child welfare law, it is very niche. And not everyone attorney is a litigator, in fact most aren't.
Guy 5: I mean technically you can practice anything you want as long as your licensed know whether or not you specialize in that area is a different story ;). I dropped out to pursue a business venture back in 2010. Let's get coffee so we can have a healthy debate ;)