Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Not Yet an Adult

I was having some deep thinking while I was in the car the other day.   Actually since my radio stopped working I do a lot of that these days.  Anyway, I started thinking that at 31 almost 32 I still don't really feel like adult.

Allow me to elaborate.  I feel like I am in this middle phase dilemma.  Both my parents were sick while I was in middle school.  That combined with being a very mature only child I have always felt as if my childhood was stunted.  I had to deal with a lot of things at a young age that many other people don't deal with way into their adulthood.  I was propelled into a young maturity.  Yet I still don't feel like I am fully an adult.

Yes I am a grown adult.  I have grown up bills.  I have to make grown up decisions everyday.  And by my age I am very grown.  But I look at my friends who are getting married, buying houses, and having children and compared to them I feel like I am behind.  Now it is not like I have never lived on my own.  I have for several years (and I actually miss it).  But sometimes living with family makes me feel like a child.  And yes I am grateful to have a family who helps me and my mother and I am blessed to have a roof over my head but I just feel kind of stuck in life.

I miss my alone time.  As an only child I had lots of it.  When I was living on my own I enjoyed being able to come home and dance around naked if I wanted.  I really miss cooking while listening to music with a glass of wine in tow.  Sometimes I even miss those rare opportunities when I feel like cleaning for the day.

Is it all just me not having my own place or is it something more than that?


  1. dancing around naked is NOT underrated. I'm just saying. Maybe you can try it in a hotel? Or a friend's basement?

  2. You know now I feel like dancing lol. Maybe later once everyone is asleep ;)


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