Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Not Yet an Adult

I was having some deep thinking while I was in the car the other day.   Actually since my radio stopped working I do a lot of that these days.  Anyway, I started thinking that at 31 almost 32 I still don't really feel like adult.

Allow me to elaborate.  I feel like I am in this middle phase dilemma.  Both my parents were sick while I was in middle school.  That combined with being a very mature only child I have always felt as if my childhood was stunted.  I had to deal with a lot of things at a young age that many other people don't deal with way into their adulthood.  I was propelled into a young maturity.  Yet I still don't feel like I am fully an adult.

Yes I am a grown adult.  I have grown up bills.  I have to make grown up decisions everyday.  And by my age I am very grown.  But I look at my friends who are getting married, buying houses, and having children and compared to them I feel like I am behind.  Now it is not like I have never lived on my own.  I have for several years (and I actually miss it).  But sometimes living with family makes me feel like a child.  And yes I am grateful to have a family who helps me and my mother and I am blessed to have a roof over my head but I just feel kind of stuck in life.

I miss my alone time.  As an only child I had lots of it.  When I was living on my own I enjoyed being able to come home and dance around naked if I wanted.  I really miss cooking while listening to music with a glass of wine in tow.  Sometimes I even miss those rare opportunities when I feel like cleaning for the day.

Is it all just me not having my own place or is it something more than that?

2 comments:

  1. dancing around naked is NOT underrated. I'm just saying. Maybe you can try it in a hotel? Or a friend's basement?

    ReplyDelete
  2. You know now I feel like dancing lol. Maybe later once everyone is asleep ;)

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for commenting! Be sure to share this page with your friends!