I was having some deep thinking while I was in the car the other day. Actually since my radio stopped working I do a lot of that these days. Anyway, I started thinking that at 31 almost 32 I still don't really feel like adult.
Allow me to elaborate. I feel like I am in this middle phase dilemma. Both my parents were sick while I was in middle school. That combined with being a very mature only child I have always felt as if my childhood was stunted. I had to deal with a lot of things at a young age that many other people don't deal with way into their adulthood. I was propelled into a young maturity. Yet I still don't feel like I am fully an adult.
Yes I am a grown adult. I have grown up bills. I have to make grown up decisions everyday. And by my age I am very grown. But I look at my friends who are getting married, buying houses, and having children and compared to them I feel like I am behind. Now it is not like I have never lived on my own. I have for several years (and I actually miss it). But sometimes living with family makes me feel like a child. And yes I am grateful to have a family who helps me and my mother and I am blessed to have a roof over my head but I just feel kind of stuck in life.
I miss my alone time. As an only child I had lots of it. When I was living on my own I enjoyed being able to come home and dance around naked if I wanted. I really miss cooking while listening to music with a glass of wine in tow. Sometimes I even miss those rare opportunities when I feel like cleaning for the day.
Is it all just me not having my own place or is it something more than that?