Tuesday, June 11, 2013

The Clock is Ticking

No I am not referring to my biological clock.  If you know me you know that I don't want to have kids.  Although over the past few months I have been softening on the idea, but I would not feel like my life wasn't complete if I don't have kids.

Anyway, I have digressed.  The clock to which I am referring is the marriage clock.  I am starting to get scared.  In a few months I will be turning 32 and I feel like I am going to die an old maid.  I have been single for over a year with no true prospects in sight.  I know what you are thinking.  I am young.  I have plenty of time.  I don't want kids so what is the rush? All of this is easily said from my friends who are in a relationship, engaged, married and have kids. Facebook it like one big advertisement for the fact that my love life is not progressing.

I feel that the older I get the dating pool gets smaller.  I definitely believe in waiting for the right person.  My faith is definitely shaken from each terrible date and horrible ex experience.  It really makes me wonder if I should accept the fact that there might not be someone for everyone.

As much as I wanted to get married I am also terrified.  There are so many shows on tv about the struggles with marriage.  Marriage Bootcamp, Bridezillas, Couples' Therapy, The First Year, you name it there is a show for it.  Even despite its ending watching Hope Springs made me shaky about the concept of marriage.  Plus I have numerous friends that have been divorced or on their way.  It just makes me nervous about the future holds.

I know I am not supposed to compare myself to others, but that is easily said.  All I really want is to be happy and for someone else to realize how awesome I am besides me.  Is that too much to ask?

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