No I am not referring to my biological clock. If you know me you know that I don't want to have kids. Although over the past few months I have been softening on the idea, but I would not feel like my life wasn't complete if I don't have kids.
Anyway, I have digressed. The clock to which I am referring is the marriage clock. I am starting to get scared. In a few months I will be turning 32 and I feel like I am going to die an old maid. I have been single for over a year with no true prospects in sight. I know what you are thinking. I am young. I have plenty of time. I don't want kids so what is the rush? All of this is easily said from my friends who are in a relationship, engaged, married and have kids. Facebook it like one big advertisement for the fact that my love life is not progressing.
I feel that the older I get the dating pool gets smaller. I definitely believe in waiting for the right person. My faith is definitely shaken from each terrible date and horrible ex experience. It really makes me wonder if I should accept the fact that there might not be someone for everyone.
As much as I wanted to get married I am also terrified. There are so many shows on tv about the struggles with marriage. Marriage Bootcamp, Bridezillas, Couples' Therapy, The First Year, you name it there is a show for it. Even despite its ending watching Hope Springs made me shaky about the concept of marriage. Plus I have numerous friends that have been divorced or on their way. It just makes me nervous about the future holds.
I know I am not supposed to compare myself to others, but that is easily said. All I really want is to be happy and for someone else to realize how awesome I am besides me. Is that too much to ask?