Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Fork in the Road

In my last post I revealed to you that I have been dating someone for about a little over a month.  Sooner than I would have liked, we have gotten to a fork in the road.  You know that fork where you decide to either take things further or you decide to discontinue the relationship attempt all together.

You see he wants to take things further.  I am about 90% sure that he likes me more than I like him.  I don't think that it is necessarily a bad thing.  I feel for the first time in a long time, heck maybe ever, that I feel more clear about what I am looking for in my next beau.  Knowing what I want, and correspondingly what I don't want, has allowed me to really process how things are going with this new guy.

Part of me thinks that I should cut my losses now and just wish him well before things get more serious.  I definitely have a few concerns about him and about us if were to enter into an official relationship.  But probably the biggest issue I have is our communication skills.  There is nothing more frustrating in trying to tell someone how you feel only for them to be dramatic and leap to conclusions.  At times I feel like I have to walk on on eggshells.  And for anyone who knows me, you know that I am a pretty direct person eggshells will be crushed in my presence.  I tell it how I see it and I do not appreciate having to sugar coat anything.

Not to mention that he speaks negatively.  I understand venting here and there.  I also understand being angry once in awhile.  But as a person who herself tends to veer toward the dark side, he's negative all the time.  Of course it is not all day, but it is enough for me to be irritated.  I really don't care to start my morning with a string of curses, complaints, and threats of punching people in the face.

I think we argue because our differing communication styles.  He tends to be loud, curse, and cut me off.  I feel like he doesn't really process what I am saying and where I am coming from.  He assumes that I don't listen to him.  I do no matter how long and how much he rambles.  And I understand his points.  I listen and maybe I cut him off too, but that's because I will forget my point if I don't say it immediately.  And many times I cut him off because he has said it 5 times already.  But all of this, this is exhausting to me.  I know relationships are supposed to be work but I am not sure if it should be this hard this soon.

However he does have many very nice qualities.  He is very very sweet.  And not a day goes by where he doesn't tell me how much he likes me and how great I am.  I know he cares about me a lot.  He is also smart and easy on the eyes.  He does attempt to be funny, but clearly I am the comedian of this duo.  Most of all, I know he is trying.  I recognize that it is hard for him to share his feelings.  I know that it is has been a long time since he has truly been interested in someone.  Sometimes I think it is important for me to remember that not everyone thinks and acts like me.

So yes back to this fork in the road thing.... I am still not sure what to do.  Maybe for now I need to stay here at the fork a little while longer until I figure things out.

3 comments:

  1. Easy to anger, perpetual negativity, cussing, and wanting to punch people in the face are all early signs of abuse. Signs I chose to ignore and regretted. Take the other road now.

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  2. I say listen to your intuition. It rarely ever steers you wrong. I say this as someone who literally just ended a 3 month relationship (after previously dating years before for two years). Sometimes people change for the better over time but if you begin a relationship with any kind of serious doubts or red flags - heed their warnings. I hope whatever happens that you are happy with your decision. Whatever you decide is ultimately what is right for you.

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  3. I have to agree. Cut your losses now.

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