Sunday, December 22, 2013

The 5 Stages of Dating

So this week after having not gone on a real date in the past few months I decided it would be a good idea to book two dates with two different guys on back to back nights.  BIG MISTAKE.  I was exhausted after the first date!  The second date was a bit of a disaster.  It almost made me want to go back on my dating hiatus which I so conveniently forgot as the gentlemen callers started lining up.

As I was thinking about my latest experiences it made me think that dating is much like the five stages of grief by Kubler-Ross.  So now I present you with the Di Mo version of the 5 stages of dating and the corresponding thoughts....

  1. Excitement- The date is scheduled.  Cool I have plans!  I am excited to go out with someone new.  I am excited to go out with that guy I have been crushing on for the past few months.  What I am going to wear?  What are we going to do?  Wait, is this a real date because he said "hang out"? Am I going to have to pay?  If so I hope we are not going to any place expensive.  I like getting to know someone this will be fun.
  2. Nervousness-  Maybe this was a mistake.  My period is about to start and I am in a bad mood.  I can't find any good clothes to wear.  We are supposed to go out today and I still do know where we are going.  Parking is terrible at this place should I go with heels or flats?  What are we even going to talk about?  I don't even know his last name how I am supposed to Google him?  I hope he remembers what I look like.  Is he going to be disappointed when he sees me?  What if he never shows up that would be so embarrassing!  Ugh I don't want to get to know someone this is not going to be fun.
  3. Relief  followed by panic- The date when well.  I had a good time.  He seems nice.  But did he have a good time?  Does he want to go out again?  OR that was a disaster!  Maybe it was because of my period?  I don't know if I can go out with him again.  He doesn't look like what I remembered.  Oh this was a mistake.
  4. Status quo - Things seem to be going pretty well.  We have been out a few times and I enjoy his company.  I hope he doesn't think that he's getting any.  There might be a few red flags here and there.  He doesn't get along with his mother.  His favorite date wear is a hoodie.  It is has almost been three months, what do we call each other?  Do I have to get him a Christmas present?  If I don't break up with him now do I have to keep him around until Valentine's Day?  Well maybe I like him.  Maybe I can see myself with him for awhile?  
  5. Disappointment- Nope, I'm out.  It didn't work out.  We have some major differences.  I am too old to be waiting around on someone who doesn't really know what he wants.  He seems like a nice guy.  He's just not for me.  He has some of the same problems as my ex.  I know how that worked out.  Now I am going to have to go through this whole process again.  I feel like giving up!

So I guess this seems pretty negative huh?  I shouldn't say all dating is bad.  I have had the opportunity to go out with some great guys and it just didn't work out to no fault of theirs.  Dating can be fun.  But dating can be exhausting.  Each new person I meet really feels like I am starting the dating cycle all over again.  The good thing, however, is that sometimes I might need a break, but I never give up on finding the right person for me.  Each person I meet is at the very least a potential new friend.  I never know where a date may lead, but until I put myself out there I will never know.


  1. not sure about #5.

  2. You know of my friends would agree with you. He said that I didn't have a happy ending and thus I was being self-defeating. I told him I haven't found my happy ending yet...


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