Sunday, December 1, 2013

Letter to My Exs

Dear Exs/Men I Have Dated,

I know it has been awhile since I have talked to you, some longer than others.  I know that you are probably surprised to hear from me.  Actually I am surprised that I am writing you myself, but I suppose that I have some lose ends to tie up.

I just wanted to say thank you.  Thank you for the good times that we shared and thank you for the bad times.  It is because of you that I am a stronger person.  I have begun to understand that I really do want to get married one day and not just have an eternal boyfriend.  And I might even want to have kids.  Because of our time together I know the difference in how a woman should and should not be treated.  I have experienced love and I realize that I want to experience that again with someone who continues to love me back and not just when it is convenient to them.

Thank you for putting up with me.  I know that I can be strange and moody and sometimes down right evil but you dealt with me.  And because you were able to handle it I know someone else can handle me too.  Thank you for always asking about my mother and treating her with respect even if you never met her.  I often worry that I will never find a man who will be able to deal with the responsibilities I have with my mom, but because of you I know this will not be a problem.  Because in my eyes the way that someone takes care of their mother, sister, and kids is a reflection in how they will treat me.  You made me realize that if another man is not doing this than he is not the one for me.

I appreciate the fact that you respected my religious beliefs.  One of you actually encouraged me to start going to church regularly, and I haven't looked back since.  Some of you would ask me about church and what I learned, you even asked for prayer.  A couple of you even came to church with me, which meant a lot.  While others were not as inclined.  The pastor told us today that your salvation cannot be taken away, so I know you will find your own path one day.  But for me, I know I want a man that has a relationship with God and is working on how to become a better person.  Not so that he can get into heaven, but he realizes the love and grace shown by God and wants to return that to others.

Thank you for loving my body no matter what the scales says.  You made me feel as beautiful with clothes on as I did naked.  You encouraged me to eat healthy and exercise not because you wanted to change me, but because I wanted to change me.  I appreciated when we cooked together and we worked out together.  I even liked when you got a little jealous when other men stared at me.  Because let's face it, I am fabulous!

For the past few years I have not had a full time job.  Thank you for not making it a reflection on myself as a person, but merely a circumstance that many people at this time face.  You sometimes paid for me when I didn't have to pennies to rub together and that was not forgotten.

Finally, I just wanted to say thank you for not being "the one".  Because by us parting ways it opens the opportunity for you and for me to find who are true companion shall be.  I would love to say that we should be friends, but it would be a lie.  Because when people part ways one or both of them is still harboring some sort of feelings whether good or bad.  But I do hope that all is well for you.  I hope that I helped you as much as you helped me.  I hope that you will find your own love as I will find my own.

Yours very truly,


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