Sunday, September 2, 2012

Requirements for Finding a Good Man

The theme from my church, Bridgeway Community Church (, the past few weeks has been Interracial Romance.  I highly encourage you to view the series online if you get a chance.  It is not just about interracial romance but there are other themes dealing with family, parenting, and relationships as well.  We have been discussing Exodus  chapter 2 and the relationship between Moses and Zipporah, who were in an interracial marriage.  Today's theme was:  "Requirements for Finding a Good Man."  So you know me being very single (single means you have prospects and/or are dating, very single means no prospects, no dating), I was ready with pen and paper in hand!

So here are the points:

  1. Consider the person's condition when you meet him or her.  -- Pastor Anderson explained that  when you meet someone that they are are changing, make sure to leave room for growth
  2. Consider the person's courage to make tough decisions.  -  You need to make sure that you are surrounded with "encouragers."  Make sure that your partner is not the only person that is your encourager otherwise you may become discouraged.
  3. Consider the person's capacity  to serve
  4. Consider the person's cultural background.
  5. Consider the person's "concerns" at a heart level (i.e passion)-  God will match a person's theme with his concerns.  The Pastor said to make sure you ask a person what makes them cry or what makes them mad to find their passions.
  6. Consider the person's connection to Christ Jesus.  - Make sure not to judge other's who are not on your level of relationship with God.  Let the light/love of God shine through you.
Pastor Anderson when on to give advice to the married couples, parents, and singles.  He said one point that really resonated with me.  "Raise girl to expect respect."  It is such a simple point but so true.  I think so often we as women settle for and put up with less than the respect that we are entitled too.  We may even be so used to it that we believe that is the way it is supposed to be, but it's not.  Oftentimes we can get so wrapped up in the good times and the euphoria that we fail to see that the man we are dating or married to is disrespectful to his family, to others, and probably even you.  Wouldn't you tell your friends in a heartbeat not to be with a man who disrespected you?  Then why do you settle for disrespect in your own relationship.

When I look back at the previous guys that I have dated based on these requirements, it reaffirmed what I already knew, that none of them were the right guys for me.  I am not saying that there was necessarily anything wrong with them as people.  I think have dated some good guys but I even think that I might have not been at the right place to even know what I was truly looking for.

As I have written a few times, right now I am comfortable with my singledom.  I know that we are all different, but I am VERY different.  And I am ok with waiting for someone who will embrace my all of my uniqueness while knowing that I am not perfect but I am constantly changing and growing.

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