Sunday, March 17, 2013

Living in a fairy tale

In the age of Disney movie princesses, an abundance of rom coms, and one too many happy endings women  today are living in a fairy tale.  Many if not most women hold out hope that their own prince charming or knight in shining armor will come sweep them of their feet in some whirlwind love affair. But the reality is, we are in reality, not Storybrook or the land of Happily Ever After.

It all starts with our childhood bedtime stories.  Countless tales of a girl who overcomes some sort of adversity who makes her way up in the world, only to become a princess.  We were told by our mothers that one day we will find our own princes and we will be a queen.  But is this misleading?  Some women may   end up never getting married much less meeting their own Mr. Right.  I think it is time that we start accepting the fact that there might not be one companion for everyone.

This hope of a happy ever ending is unrealistic.  Women, and I say this in very general terms, have a sense of entitlement.  They think that because we look a certain way, act a certain way, and have a certain degree that we are entitled to have a companion of equal or greater stature.  We expect that with every guy we meet that we should feel butterflies and that should be able to take us on a horse drawn carriage.  And when this doesn't happen, we become upset.  We think that there are no good guys there.  We believe that we can do better.

The truth is that no one is entitled to anything.  Everything that we have is because of God.  And maybe not everyone is going to get that Prince Charming.  Some women do not take into account their own behavior.  Why is that women with the worst attitudes think that they are deserving of a good man?  Why is it that people believe that you can treat people poorly and it will not have an adverse affect on you later on?  Relationships are work.  They are compromise.  They are give and take.  And sure, I believe that man needs to do some courting, but I don't think it all falls on him.

Let's talk courting while we are at it.  I wrote about it a few months (Are my expectations too high?).  I asked is it ok to want to be courted?  I still think is.  But I still believe that as the older generations of men fade away, the newer generations don't know what courting is.  Women have allowed men to do less work to win their affections.  But then these same women turn around and expect the moon from the men they are dating.  It can't work both ways.  With the rise of technology the dating game is so different.  We no longer have to literally wait by the phone on a Friday night to be invited on a date to the soda shop.  Now we are constantly plugged in.  We have a continuous battle with analyzing some one's words via text message, Facebook, Twitter and anything else.  We are more connected as a society but we are also less socially intimate.  This is a barrier that both sexes must compensate for.

Just because a man doesn't perform what is considered an acceptable romantic gesture in your opiniobn doesn't mean that he is not a good man and it also doesn't mean he isn't trying.  This is just a communication problem.  First, women have all these ideas in their heads.  Don't deny, because I know, I am woman.  We have plans of what we would hope our first date is like, our first kiss, our proposal, our wedding and on and on.  But we just magically expect that a man will know all of this. Some do, most don't all it takes is a little communication to rectify the situation.  But it also takes some understanding.  Men by nature really aren't emotional creatures.  Sometimes the small gesture that they do, actually could be a big deal to them.  Don't belittle their efforts.  No one wants to get shot down when you are trying right?

All in all we need to remember that fairy tales are just stories and what happens in a movie is just fiction.  Let's not overlook the truly good guys out there when they don't take us out on a magic carpet ride, because they can still show us the world :)

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